9/24 Confessions (#4b)

Aurelius Augustine who lived from 354-430 A.D. left a great record of himself and his struggle to find God. In Augustine’s work “Confessions” he describes ,among other things, the sins he struggled with and his conversion that marked his complete surrenderance of himself to God.

Sin

When Augustine described his sin he described the action itself as well as the sins affect on his life.

First, Augustine described being young and with friends stealing peaches. Augustine explained that he did not steal out of necessity, because he had his own peaches that were superior to the ones he had stolen. Instead, he stole for the pleasure that came directly from the act of sinning.

Second, Augustine described the fulfillment of his lustful desires. Augustine tells us in many more words that he committed these sins because he was engulfed in the beauty and pleasures of this world. While Augustine knows these to be true beauties and pleasures they are astronomically smaller when compared to that which
God provides.

He knew his sins were driving him from God. Through much of this time in his life Augustine believes God left him alone till he could see how a life without God appears. The first sin’s pleasure was not satisfying enough. He knew his hunger for life could not be complete filled with the pleasure from sin. Augustines second sin hurt him greatly. After braking a relationship with a women, for he had another promised to him this heart ached. Augustine describes the pain of his heart as “broken and wounded” (n. page).

Augustine had an interesting prospective when talking about sin, morality, and God. Augustine hated his sin. He was disgusted with it because he knew God was disgusted with it. Augustine sought to rid himself of sin, for he knew it did not please God and he wanted to please God above all else. Other ancient world narratives tell about abstaining from sin so that their gods do not destroy him and these other gods have no interest in love ,but also love themselves as people do. Augustine’s morality was set by God. Other religions of the time had many gods and often conflicting morality. Finally, Augustine love his God immensely. He knew that God had his best interest at heart. Other writers of the ancient world obeyed their gods out of fear alone. While Augustine feared God, he also wanted a personal relationship with God that would please God.

Conversion

Before Augustine’s conversion their were many hindrances that came in the form of wrong thinking and ideas. One of these is the idea that the beauties and pleasure of this world could sustain him. Later, he would find that this could not be further from the truth. Another hindrance is that Augustine thought he was not in need of a God. He was his own God and continued to seek the pleasures of this world. Later, he would find how small these pleasures were in comparison to what God had in store for him.

Augustine’s experience are in no way unique. While his store is not going to match anyones else's exactly. Augustine like all, began as a sinner. Unfulfilled and conflicted he wanted more. When he found God he found purpose and meaning. Not until he surrendered all of himself to God did he find peace in life. This pattern parallels a large number of unbeliever’s and convert’s in the contemporary world to day.